Thursday, April 3, 2008

Two Years ~ A Tribute To My Japanese Mother

Two Years

Two years has slipped away from us,
cried a thousand tears
hardly a day passes, I don’t well up
missing you in a particular moment.
No more phone calls to hear your sweet
accented voice talking on the other end

No more telling me “Please don’t put
black pepper on the mashed potatoes!.”

Two years of empty holidays missing
your extraordinary smile, reminiscing
gazing into your dark soulful eyes.
Two new beautiful grandsons you
never had the chance to see or spoil.
Not sure where to place all the grief
as time relentlessly continues on.

I’ve gone on...
but it’s as if I just merely exist,
like life transcends right through me.
Feeling numb down to the bone
stripped away by painful raw emotions,
which have turned hard as stone...

A cold shinny black stone
all that is left of a vibrant lifetime,
a whole lifetime loving you.
Two years reliving bygone memories,
two years relinquishing you to death.

©Jo A. True-Burkholder 2008

How fast time passes! Sunday April 6, 2008 will mark two years my mother has been gone. She was not only my mother, but my father, and every relative I never had. Spring is a celebration of rebirth, but now it has become a sad commoration of the day my mother passed away. She died with her small family keeping vigil all through the night.

She always had a touch of class, incredibly neat in all she did. She raised three daughters in a foreign country, and she hardly knew anyone. She was strong and endured many hardships throughout her lifetime. She loved Mcdonald's cheeseburgers, and Kentucky fried chicken. We should have been born as sisters, for we had so much fun hanging out together. I have started to work on a memoir of her life, her passing has been an immeasurable loss to our family.


pepektheassassin said...

A beautiful post! The memoir is a really good idea, I think, for you and for her. Glad you liked my Easter pictures--did you see the sushi!!! It was sooooo good....

Jo said...

Hey P,
Thank you! Yes it has been slow going for the memoir, cause it is so personal and I miss her so much! I sure did see the sushi, love the stuff. I make and eat them here at home, but I don't have a sushi roller, so I roll by hand. :)

pepektheassassin said...

I have a personal history blog, called Jelly, where I have put much of my own stuff, but a personal post with pictures for my grandparents, and mother and father. Now it is mostly pictures, but I intend to write for all of them, too. I did one for my husband. I've done this mostly for my kids and grandkids. I work on it sporadically....

Jo said...

Hello again P,

I did check out your pictures, very nice! Love the slide shows. ?What a nice tribute, to leave behind a legacy of generations!

ochikeron said...

Nice black-and-white photographs!!!
I always think pictures in those days are nice.

Life is unfair...
My great grandmother was killed in a traffic accident 5 years ago, before I see her while I was in NY.

Then, my grandfather has passed away last spring.
I miss him, but still can't accept his death.
He used to catch conger eel and my grandmother cooked.
Whenever I eat it at a restaurant or anywhere, it reminds me of him.

I can't imagine my parents'.
I want to see them more often.

Different story, but I added feedjit, which I found on your blog.
It is cool!!! I liked it!!!

Jo said...

Hi Ochi,

Yes these black and white photos quite old. The one with mom in kimono is a actually creased in the center, but turned out well. We went last Sunday on her 2 year anniversary, and put out a bunch of Spring flowers for her. Her two baby grandsons now a little over a year, ran across her grave.
I hope she saw them. We miss her muchly. Feedgit is pretty cool, you can see where visitors from! Thanks for stoppin! :)

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